Mar. 30 - Stacie says...
"Your son seemed like a beautiful person. His face is so angelic
and cute in his pictures. He truly was beautifull. I am so sorry for your
loss. Words cannot express what I should say, anything I write may seem
patronizing as I have never felt the pain you have felt and feel. My heart
melts for you and I send so much warmth, peace and happiness your way.
Jared seemed like he would have been a wonderful person to meet.
I am sorry I will never have that chance. ...It just seems so un-real
and uncomprehendable, I just cannot understand. I struggle with depression
myself and have recently went on Paxil. Thank you for your bravery in sharing
your story." (...I wish you well
Stacie. Life does not always give us the easy path to follow but,
in due time, as we experience all the beautiful events along the path,
it becomes worth the travel.)
Mar. 26 - "Beccababe" says...
"...i am doing a violence awareness problem in my school. we are
reading a different story every morning to the school and we think jared's
story would make kids think twice about bullying..."
it seems like either the bullies are doing the killing or the victims of
bullies are doing the school killings. There
are two types of kids out there; Students who are bullied (or are bullies)
and begin to hate people and want to get revenge and students who are bullied
and begin to hate themselves, getting depressed.
Jared was a gentle soul who
was beaten up by a bully inside his Middle School. His life never
was the same after that. He couldn't sleep, or slept at strange hours,
lost all his concentration, was easily stressed and he lost interest in
many of the things he really enjoyed. If you go to this link you
can read about the assault: http://www.jaredstory.com/assault.html
You also might like to go to, http://www.jaredstory.com/email_questions.html
because I answer a few questions about Jared's suicide and other topics
you might be interested in. I hope you can help make a difference
at your school. When students learn to respect each other's differences
and stop saying hurtful things to each other, then everyone will feel a
lot better, and safer, in school.)
Mar. 20 - Rachel says...
"I live in Oregon, and for my local newspaper i have been asked to
write an article on teenage suicide, from the perspective of both the victim
and the people who's lives were tragically altered by the victim's actions.
I have been sweeping the web for appropriate material and found the usual
array of statistics, facts and the occasional porn site (they can't be
avoided). Then i came to Jaredstory.com. I cannot even begin
to understand what you are feeling, since i have never lost anyone to suicide,
but i was astounded by the depth of your site, and by your willingness
to help people, no matter how blunt their questions are. The concept
of suicide and depression is something that frightens me to no end, since
so many suicide victim's are smart, successful, and appear to be living
pleasant lives. ...i would like to use jared's story as an anecdote
in my article, to bring home the realization that hit me as i read your
web page--that even the nicest, most talented, together people you know
are capable of suicide. ...I cannot understand your loss, but i do
sympathize." (I think
that it's wonderful that you would like to use JaredStory.com in your article.
Anything you can do to help prevent suicide will give me, and a lot of
healing parents, a great deal of satisfaction. ...If there is anything
you can teach others, and especially parents with your article, tell them
about the triggers
of depression. People rarely wake up in the morning and say,
"oh, like I'm depressed today". Something happens to trigger that
depression. A car accident, lost a job, loved one died,
got beat up at school, the
girlfriend dumped me, rape, is into drugs, or prescription drugs... all
these and countless more can trigger depression. People are more
fragile, emotionally, than we want to admit. Talk to any Viet Nam
Vet and they will tell you how tough they are. This group of tough
guys have killed themselves more than any other. The "trigger" of
war is a horrible horror to overcome. Back to Jared.
He was a wonderful boy, just turned 13. He didn't swear, drink, smoke,
and loved people and animals. The real scary thing is that we have
the "perfect" family and yet it happened to us, a suicide in the family,
our own son. The trauma of grief is over but the healing goes on
forever. I was inspired to do JaredStory.com has a healing project.
It was a selfish work at first, but the more I talked, sometimes frankly,
about suicide the more I healed from losing Jared and I began to feel that
maybe I could help others heal too. ...Suicide is one of those touchy
subjects no one wants to talk about. I wish you well. Go make
Mar 18 - Jenquoi says...
"...I cried and cried when I read about your son Jared..."
Mar 15 - From the Harassment Survey...
"My principle has heard lies or rumors from another student. He does
not confront both of us or just flat out talk about it with me. I'm just
a 10th grade girl who knows of much worst in our school. He calls
me A drug user. And he has taken privileges away from me such as using
the bathroom or any sorts of hall passes. He out of no where searches my
coat and locker and is constantly having me in his office. the other
day he was talking to me and grabbed my hand. This is just a big misunderstanding
for him about me, which is really hurting me and my reputation. What should i do?"
- you might also consider getting a lawyer... the "grabbed my hand" part
makes me wonder...)
Mar. 14 - Brenda says...
"As a Principal's Secretary in an Elementary School where we have
zero tolerance for harassment, I know the importance of taking children
seriously. I appreciate you spreading the word to inform others on
to do if their child is being harassed. Parents need to be advocates
for their children, many of them just don't know what to do!"
Mar. 10 - Bonnie says...
"First, I am so sorry for the loss which led you to create the web
site for Jared, but so grateful for the compassionate comfort you are giving
to so many. Your list of suggestions for dealing
with grief is wonderful, and we'd like to share it with our families
who have suffered a loss. Is that okay?"
(...That would be fine to use
"Dealing with Grief" to help members of www.taps.org.
We are all in this world together and we all have a duty to help each other
get through life the best we know how. Maybe some of your members
me and tell me ways they are dealing with their loss. I plan
to add another 10 more suggestions within the next few months and I'd be
glad to add their ideas...)
The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors,
2001 S Street, NW, Ste 300
Washington, DC 20009
FAX: 907.274.TAPS (8277)
Mar. 7 - Brad says...
"Tonight your site really touched me. I was simply looking for a
cake recipe for my wife and our young kids. Jared looks similar to
my five year old boy; kind, smart, and loving. Each and every day I am
thankful for my boys as they are a gift from God. So sweet and perfect. The thought of the tragedy and anguish you must have felt is beyond
description. I never knew Jared, but I wish I had the chance. I wish my
boys and he were friends. Thank you for putting together such a great memorial,
one that gets people to think. Who knows, maybe it will save one of my
boys when they are teenagers, and for that I am thankful to you and Jared.
I will think of your son when we have his favorite cake."
wish you and your family a wonderful life... and don't forget the worms
in the dirt cake! ;-))
Mar. 6 - The (Harassment) Survey says...
"I have told principals and counselor and the most has been done
is that they have been kicked off the bus for 1 day... This just made matters
worse... I can't even walk down the halls without someone yelling vulgar
language at me" (check out,
Harassed in School, for tips on what really works on bullies)
Mar. 2 - Aime says...
"...i am really sorry about your son. i am
16 years old and a sophomore at high school and have had a lot of experiences
with depression and suicide. i am doing a sophomore paper that's due in
may and i was wondering if you could tell me the story about your son and
if you could tell me all you know about depression it would help me a lot
with this project" (Thank
you for your kind words. There are a few good places to go on my
page to find out about Depression (http://www.jaredstory.com/depression.html)
and Suicide (http://www.jaredstory.com/suicide.html).
Be sure and read the new article I put on my page last night about Harassment
in Schools because it directly relates to Jared. His life changed
after being Assaulted
inside his Middle School by a bully. I wish you well on your project and
hope that you can help make a difference for someone else who is suffering
with depression and thoughts of suicide.)
Feb. 21 - Johnny says...
Dare to take charge of this day.
Do something different to obtain different results.
Don't be afraid of deep water.
Go further than you have ever gone before.
This is your day.
Each instant is a place we've never been.
Johnny D Wimbrey
Words of LIFE
Feb. 12 - A Parent says...
"I would like to have some advise about this case,
my wife and my other daughter are suffering emotionally. We don't
know what to do. They ask too many questions, they even sent the cops to
my apartment without permission or a least to let me know what's is going
on. Please we need your help." (Document
everything - Write multiple letters to School Board Members, the Superintendent,
The Principal of the school and your State Representatives. Demand
action! Also, consider calling a lawyer... and don't believe that school
officials care about your child. They don't, unless you are rich.
I speak from experience. After Jared was assaulted
we tried to handle everything without the help of a lawyer. Big Mistake!
Now Jared is dead because of that assault, and how the school district
Feb. 2 - Robert says...
"...I went to your web site.
I had no idea about Jared... I can't put my feelings into written words.
I hope a hug will convey my true sorrow, ...God looks out for us
Jan. 28 - Shaun says...
"...I am 15 years old and I am a sophomore
in high school. I am currently doing a report on teen suicide and
the Story of you son interested me. He would be about my age now,
i was born September 26th, 1985. I feel a connection somehow, and
i would like to know if possible, how he committed suicide, I cannot find
it on your website. I would greatly appreciate any feedback if you have
the time." (I don't talk
much about "how" Jared died because I want people to know how Jared lived.
I worry that young people might think that Jared's method of dying is acceptable
to them also. But, I will satisfy your curiosity and tell you that
Jared used a gun to die with. The real killer, however, wasn't the
gun but the depression that caused him to do it. That's why I try
to tell people who visit my site to check out the triggers,
sign's of depression and signs of suicide so they can be educated to
help others, or themselves. Yup, you would be about the same age
as Jared. I hope you are as happy as Jared was. Jared only
changed, was "triggered", after he was assaulted
inside his Middle School by a bully. He became depressed and had
trouble sleeping after that...)
Jan. 18 - Ashley (16 yrs old) says...
"I am so sorry for your loss. I almost did the same. I send you my
love..." (I'm glad you are okay.
I hope JaredStory.com helped you out. If you will remember that others
love you like we loved Jared you can get through the tough times in life.)
Jan. 5 - Evan says...
"I think you have created a wonderful web site to honor Jared's memory
by trying to steer those contemplating suicide toward getting help, and
by comforting those whose lives have been impacted by suicide. ...I
really enjoyed the page called "A
Heavenly Manifestation" about the vision given to Heber Q. Hale..."
Jan. 4 - Dara says...
"I would like to thank you. Your page helped me very much. For a
research project that I'm doing in school, I chose teenage behavioral sciences,
and my main project is on teenage suicide. This page, although extremely
sad, was resourceful and informative. I had no idea how close suicide hit
home until a year ago, when I briefly considered it. Thank you so
much! I have put this page on my Favorites list."
you for your kind comments about my website in honor of Jared. I
hope you do well on your research project. I think everyone thinks
about suicide at some time in life. Thankfully we get through it
with our common sense intact. In the case of Depression and Suicide
thoughts, common sense is missing. That's what happened to Jared...
he was depressed. The sad thing about this, is that we didn't know
he was suffering from depression or we would of got him into see a psychologist.
I think most parents don't think their kids can get depression at such
a young age. ...Go for the A!!!)
Dec. 21 - Jan says...
"I came across Jared's website and I just have to tell you what a
wonderful, loving Mother you are and what an exceptional, beautiful Son
Jared is. God bless you and now I am another person who has met and will
remember Jared! Thank you!"
Dec. 7 - from the Harassment survey...
"I was harassed in junior high school.
The people who harassed me have since become drug addicts, promiscuous,
or have dropped out of school. I have since developed my own crowd, and
I am considered to be very popular. But I use my popularity to help the
people who get teased and assaulted. I can tell all of you that I put a
stop to harassment at my school. And if anyone tries to harass someone
I step in and put a stop to it. I am currently working on a documentary
in my English Trans class. I have decided to base my documentary on high
school cliques. My documentary is going to be shown throughout my school.
I am going to bring it to everyone's attention that what they are saying
to people hurts, and I am going to attempt to open their eyes past having
a good laugh and maybe make them all realize how they are making people
feel. Thank You and don't let "THEM" bring you down, there are people out
there whom love you very much."
(I am very proud of you for your work, and I know you will make a difference!)
Nov. 30 - Brittany says...
"...a 15 year old from Mount Desert Island, in Southwest Harbor,
ME. I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions for a civic
project. ...i would appreciate it." (questions
Nov. 29 - Stephanie says...
"i don't know if u remember me but i was the one with the suicide
report. i just wanted to tell you that we have not got back our reports
yet, but i'm happy to tell you that i did very well, ...and that
i'm still planning to update you when i get it back. thanks for the luck!"
Nov. 26 - Amy says...
"I found your website on a search that I was performing at yahoo.com.
I found it so interesting and informative and the work that you put forth
in this website is just tremendous. I hope that you are not offended
by my telling you this, but I only felt it right that I should. I
am a junior nursing student at Saint Francis College of Pennsylvania and
currently I am enrolled in a Thanatology class (the study of Death and
Dying). As our final assignment, we were to write a term paper on
an aspect dealing
with death and how it is dealt with or should be dealt with in the
Nursing profession. I included in my paper information on Jared and
his depression and of his untimely death. Your son sounds so amazing
and I am deeply sorry that you had to endure such pain and also that he
had to endure pain. I just wanted to tell you "thanks" for such a
great, informative website, and also to wish you luck in your future.
You, Jared, and your entire family are included in my prayers. Peace and
goodness to you" (You will make
a wonderful nurse! Thank you for your kind comments.)
Nov. 26 - "Angel" says...
"...i cant find the Section where it talks about his (Jared's) Death..."
died by suicide on September 29th 1998. He was 13 and 6 days old.
His depression was triggered by an assault
inside his Middle School by a bully. I don't get into a lot of
detail about Jared's death because it still hurts inside, and besides,
I feel his life is more interesting to write about rather than his death.)
Nov. 20 - Chris says...
"HAPPY THANKSGIVING, 2000 - I am so grateful
and blessed to have so many special people touch my life and leave their
precious footprints on my heart. THANK YOU & MAY GOD
BLESS YOU ON THIS THANKSGIVING DAY AND THROUGHOUT THE HOLIDAY SEASON &
NEW YEAR... 2001... (can you believe it?) ...HUGS
TO YOU..." (Thanks
Chris, I'm also thankful to have special friends like you in my life.
I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving too.)
Nov. 18 - Christine says...
"I admire you immensely Brenda for the effort and time you have put
into helping children and I have encouraged my daughter to email all her
friends with your site. They really need to know there are a lot of scared
kids out there and how much they need to open their hearts to God and realize
that they are safe in His love. I am so pleased your site shows the
importance of balance in life - body, mind and, most importantly, spirit."
Nov. 18 - Amy says...
"i'm from california i'm doing a research paper on teen suicide and
i cross the page you made for your sons death. i was wondering if i could
get info on the type of background he had or what would of made him do
it. if you could please e-mail me some kind of info i would greatly
appreciate." (See answer to Angel,
November 26th - Jared was a very normal boy, a church goer and well liked
at school. Read about his life -> Jared's
Nov. 14 - Matt says...
"...I am a criminal justice major at Weber State University.
I am doing a semester project on setting up a grief center for suicide
victims. If you have any information that could help me on this I
would greatly appreciate it." (That's
wonderful! The first place you should go is to the local Chaplaincy
group and see if they have a local chapter of S.O.S., Survivor's Of Suicide
and see how they have set up their organization. You should
also attend a couple of meetings of the group, The Compassionate Friends.
Although they don't deal with just suicide victims alone, they have a unique
way of handling grief within their support groups. I'm assuming that
you may be in law enforcement dealing with police officers. If so,
you will need to deal with "Suicide by Cop" and the best way you can set
up a group for police officers is to find policemen who have been through
this sad type of suicide to lead the groups. They are your experts
and leading this type of group will help them heal from this trauma, as
well as others. There are many ways that people deal with grief, the worst
of which is NOT to deal with it. It comes out sooner or later and
cops who think they are tough guys find out that they are not so tough
after all. I wish you well and I hope you have a lot of success with your
Nov. 13 - "peEp" says...
"I think you did a wonderful job on your page. I was doing a research
paper on Teenage Suicide when I came across your page.. You did a really
great job in statistics and everything else. Thank you so much for sharing
your story. I know it probably was very painful, but at least you can think
that your story touches a lot of peoples hearts. God Bless!"
Nov. 12 - Alicia says (from Harassment survey)...
Comments: "This is a very good site i have been harassed since kindergarten
because i am over weight i finally got out of my school now i am going
to fairfield career center and it is great thanx for the site"
Nov. 6 - DHarris says...
"my sympathies to you in light of the death of your son. I
have three small children so far, and realize the enormity of the job -
getting them through this world with all the temptations pulling at them."
Nov. 3 - A Grandmother says...
A YOUNG PERSON WHO SOME OF MY GRANDCHILDREN KNEW COMMITTED
SUICIDE AND THAT IS WHEN WE GOT ON AOL, SOMETHING I DON'T DO OFTEN.
...I ALWAYS WATCH FOR SIGNS IN MY GRANDCHILDREN THAT MAY NOT BE OF A HEALTHY
NATURE, AND LOW AND BEHOLD, MY ONE GRANDDAUGHTER, BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED,
WAS JUST DIAGNOSED WITH ANOREXIA! YOU MUST BE A SPECIAL HUMAN
BEING FOR SHARING YOUR EXPERIENCE TO HELP OTHERS. (Yes,
Anorexia is definitely a trigger for depression, and depression is the
number one cause of suicide.)
Nov. 3 - Julie says...
"Hi, I'm just writing to you to ask a favor , you may not know me
that well but I'm doing a project on teenage suicide and I was wondering
if you would be able to give me some addresses to look under for more info
on teen suicide. You column was great but I need allot more things, Like
the catechism of the churches beliefs about it. (catholic) I'd really
appreciate it if you could get back to me as soon as possible."
the past, most Christian religions have considered a suicide a damning
choice and they refused to give that person a Christian burial. Some
Eastern & Middle Eastern religions may consider suicide an honorable
death, if it was for a specific purpose. As an example; Japanese
flyers (Kamikaze) who flew into U.S. Destroyer's during W.W.II killing
themselves purposely were considered heroes. Thankfully, today, many
Christian religions are beginning to understand that a suicide caused from
depression was a death caused by sickness. The world is beginning
to understand how devastating depression and anxiety disorders can be.
If you want to know what the Mormon's believe concerning suicide than you
can go to my link about Suicide
and Death, in the Meaning
of Life section of JaredStory.com.)
Nov. 2 - Eliza says...
"I am sorry to hear the story about the death of Jared,
...I don't know how to express my sympathy... "