.. Suicide  Bullying  depression


Emails from people who have "been there, done that" - they have lost someone to suicide, have thought of, or are

thinking about suicide. Emails from people enduring, or have endured bullying or have suffered from depression.

Other people's stories...  AUGUST 2000

August 31 - 'Littleone' says...
"i was visiting the site u made, it really made me think at what i had tried to do and how selfish i am for thinking about doing again. sometimes i think that its all a game my mind plays with itself. for many years now i have went through ups and downs with many attempts never quite pulling em off but i dunno i just fell like how am i suppose to tell mom or dad bout it.  its not something u necessarily bring up over dinner. they have there suspicions.  moms put me on pills called saint johns wort or something like that. well i guess i better go. i thank u so much for letting me get this off my chest it helps more than u know" (bring your concerns up after dinner... they need to know how you are feeling.  You are blessed to have parents that really care, and love you!)

August 28 - Margie says...
"i am 16 years old.  i was on tonight and looking up suicidals... because i was wondering how people get through stuff like this. ...i need some one to talk to. ...i don't know how to explain it. but it seems like i am always alone. no friends nothing !!!  i mean i have friends but its like they don't care and just use me. they always say things about me ..mean things .. i guess i am not good enough ...or stupid or something.  ..i don't eat, i don't sleep and when i do, it is always just because i have nothing better to do or i just can't think of anything... i have slash marks on my arms from where i cut myself when i am mad or depressed, and when  my friend see them, they only laugh and make jokes about it. ....i have nothing, feel nothing, am sometimes think that i am nothing.   ...my mother is a great person. sometimes i think that she is the only person who truly loves me, and i wish she only knew what i was feeling most of the time. i am afraid to tell her though because of what she might think of what i say. i am going to tell you this, when i am depressed, the only person i can think about, is my mother.  i know that jared loved you dearly, because it is always our mothers who make us feel like we are somebody.  i just wish my mom truly knew how much i love and appreciate her .. ..i just don't know what to do any more.  (give your mom a chance and tell her how you are feeling!)
and later...  ...sometimes i just cant help myself but to be depressed. i cant control it. i wasn't always like this. i come from a good family with a spiritual back ground. i always use to go to church but somehow i just stopped going.  i don't even remember how it happened.  ...every once in a while i will get like this. it always starts out by some one saying something to me or about me. i guess i have a real low self esteem.  i guess that i am just a real sensitive person. maybe that is why i take things so personally. it is so hard to live in the world now days.  you are always known for what and how you look not for who you are..."

August 27 - Hayley says...
"I have a friend right now who recently cut his wrists and prayed to God he would die.  I'm trying to figure out how to talk to him now and help him.  I've been reading other situations and the ways to help these people out, so any help would be greatly appreciated." (keep trying and help him find some professional (and group) counseling.)

August 27 - Antonia says...
"I am 15 years old and i have a friend who brought up this topic about committing suicide several times  sometimes she's kidding sometimes i can't tell since we usually talk online. What should I say to her in order to get such a horrible thought out of her head?  She does have a lot of friends and I know a lot of people care about her. ...Why would she want to commit suicide? She doesn't give me reasons why, it's mostly like, "i just hate life" but nothing after that to explain WHY she hates life. I would appreciate if you could give me questions to ask her.  I would tell her parents but i know she has a nice relationship with her mom and if she is kidding i don't want to look stupid, plus i hardly know her parents... I told her she needs to go for help if she really wants to do that, but she says she's doesn't need help. I don't want to lose this friend she helped me out a lot. Please help me...
and later... Thank you so much for the helpful information you gave me.  ...I did start speaking to her about what she had brought up the other night and she told me that she was kidding and that she was only upset about something for just a little while and that she was better now. Should I leave it at that or should I talk to her about it.  She's not the type of person to tell me things as much as we hang out a lot she still seems a little shy to express her feelings..."   (You must take your friend seriously because when someone mentions suicide it's a cry for help and attention.  Your friend may not even know why she is saying what she's saying.  She may not know she has depression, and that's likely her problem.  Read, "Suicide, A Teenage Epidemic" and look at all the signs and triggers.  Then copy it off and give a copy to her parents and tell them you are worried.  It's better to feel "stupid" than feel guilty or grief later.  Her parents will appreciate you for telling them something they were not aware of.  Also, you can refer them to my website if you are uncomfortable about giving them too much information about what's happening with their daughter. Our family had no warning when Jared decided to take his life.  He told no one what he was planning to do.  He didn't ask for help.  This is very rare in suicide cases.  Almost always there are words spoken to someone before the act of suicide is carried out.  Be sure your friends parents get the chance that we never got.)

August 27 - 'Hoop' says...
"i was just wondering if u have any words of advice for a guy who has been turned down by the most beautiful girl of his wildest imaginations just 4 real. I've given suicide a thought but i don't know about what to do. even though she doesn't like me in that way i still love her and think about her all of the time. please help" (...you are suffering from a form of grief.  You have suffered from the loss of love, which can be a trigger to depression and then suicide.  Be sure and get some counseling to help you get through your loss.)

August 26 - Kimi says...
"I read the story about your son. I'm really sorry. I know my words cant really help , but knowing that someone who is less than a year older than me can be taken from this world is sad. I hope you and your family are doing ok. I really like how on the site it has all the links and stuff. That was cool. I did have one question though. You don't have to tell me if you don't feel comfortable, But, How did your son die? I mean , what caused it? (My friend April stabbed herself in the stomach 3 times. She left a note and stuff on her bedside table. It was really weird after knowing it happened) Do you understand why he did what he did?  I saw it said that your family had a lot of 'why' questions... Do you think he did things that gave you signs about being depressed or anything before? Do you know what some of the signs to look for are? I read in a pamphlet that drug use and staying away from usual groups of friends and stuff like that are, but I don't know if my friends are using drugs and if they are my friends they evidentially aren't staying away from our 'group'... Well, Thanks for your time and Sorry This was so long..  Even when sunshine pushes away the rain, I still wonder who'll take away my pain." (Jared was beat up inside his Middle School by a bully and never was the same afterwards. His 'trigger' to depression, and then suicide, was an assault.)

August 24 - Brandi says...
"I would like to say I am sorry.  The Life has mysterious ways of taking people from us and suicide unfortunately is the most hard.  A friend From my school committed suicide on Wednesday.  He shot himself.  He was my boyfriends best friend.  He isn't taking it so well.  I can't begin to imagine how it feels to have someone you so deeply love and care about take their own life, but you have to imagine what was in his head. It's not an easy thing to deal with but people have their reasons I guess.  I have so many emotions being thrown at me  right now..... sadness, loneliness, anger, guilt, frustration.  It hurts to know that someone you know can actually be brought to that point.  Like what could we have done to stop it.... right?  But in reality whatever happens is meant to be, sadly to say.  Well Im sorry this has to happen to good people.  Your family is in my prayers, much love. God is Watching over Jared, and your family as well as Jon and his family!"

August 24 - Michelle says...
"I work for Rape Counseling service in Fresno, California.   Our Executive Director lost her 14 year old daughter "Jeni" almost two years ago to suicide.  The effect on our office family and Lee Ann's life and her extended family and friends was unreal.  We are building a web page for victims of sexual assault.  We have seen a definite connection between rape victims and suicide attempts.  I would like to make your web site the link for addressing suicide on our site.  God Bless you... I am pregnant with a boy, due any day now and my heart just aches thinking about what you must still be going through.  I thank you for sharing your story and hope that through this site and ours, we can offer hope to teens in crisis." (Yes, rape is definitely at trigger for depression and suicide.  Your counseling service is an act of love for victims of sexual assault)

August 24 - 'DiGiTaL' says...
"is it wrong to kill yourself?" (Check out, The Meaning of Life section of JaredStory.com and Where to those who die by suicide go?)

August 23 - David says...
"I must inform you that that www.JaredStory.com has been an epiphany in my life...  I have suffered from depression for some time.  I am 31 years old.  I live in Tamarac, Florida, a Fort Lauderdale suburb. As a teenager, I thought long and hard of taking my own life.  Even as a productive adult, such thoughts have crossed my mind.  From the bottom of my heart, I can honestly express that the content of www.JaredStory.com has significantly contributed to helping me find my sense of self worth once again!  Although the professional assistance which I sought earlier this year was critical in the successful treatment of my depression, www.JaredStory.com has enabled me to personally reconfirm that I do live in a world in which I can experience JOY AND LOVE!  Mrs. High, it is blatantly obvious that Jared's heart was filled with so much love, light, and selflessness.  My intuition tells me that he was, to an extent, mature beyond his years.  I have profound respect for your strength, spirit, and for your family.  If you have created a symbol, for example, a ribbon, or a pin in Jared's memory, it would make me feel so good to wear it.  If anything of this sort is available, please let me know how I may acquire it!  In closing, I look forward to your continued development and evolution of www.JaredStory.com."

August 22 - Rika says...
"Today I spent time with a mother of a 7 year old classmate of my daughter. The classmate of my daughter name was Daniel D.  Daniel was found Friday in his bedroom dead from hanging from a backpack in his room.  I met Daniel one day after school when my daughter told me that the other children from off the bus was picking on him about his teeth being decayed in the front.  I stopped the car and turned it around so that I could pick Daniel up and take him home.  Daniel was a very bright child and he began to tell me about the goat he had and some baseball cards he was collecting, etc.  I continued to see Daniel daily after school and i would ask him if he was ok, he would respond by saying yes and he would go home.  Sometimes, or I should say most of the time, his father would come to the bus stop and pick him up.  I can not understand a child so young killing himself and it is hard for me to believe this child did just that.  I talk with the parents everyday and I don't see them harming their child.  Yet I just don't see this as suicide. If you can help me understand more about children this young killing themselves i would be grateful."  (How can anyone not be touched by this sad story! - In reality, this child was not of the age of accountability in God's, or anyone's, eyes - Check out, The Meaning of Life section of JaredStory.com and Where to those who die by suicide go?)

August 21 - a cousin says...
"my cousin committed suicide and I don't know how do deal with it I thought why and nothing came in to mind. I wanted to be with him but I don't want to, things are real good at home. How do I deal with this? how long does it take? I wish I knew all the answer. we were like brother and sister we were really close I wish he was still here!" (...Could take a long time but doing a healing project can help you get through your grief better.)

August 16 - Sandy says...
"what an absolute beautiful child, My eyes are so full of tears right now I can hardly see my computer screen.  His blonde hair and beautiful face remind me so much of my Danny.  God bless you, what an honor to be this young man's mom."  Sandy N, Mother of , Danny, 3/17/77 - 12/27/96


August 15 - Alice says...

"Jared's web pages and all the work you have done for suicide survivors - AWESOME.  Have informed my suicide survivors online group.  How long did it take I wonder for you to compile all this info?" (Ongoing healing project... since October 1998)   Colin 9/2/76-3/29/99

August 15 - Kim says...
"...almost all of my life i have been suicidal.  i've tried everything, from cutting my writs, drinking poison, and over dosing.  and i am almost 13 yrs old.  i want 2 change, be happy, but everything that i try never seems 2 work.  people think i live a happy life... i do good in school, have a lot of friends, and even a boy friend.  but nothing seems 2 help... when will the pain go away!?  so i would like it if u could send me some stuff about suicide, 2 help me.  i thank u very much!!
and later - (to Sonja - Jared's sister)  i don't believe in god... i am wiccan.  cause if there was a real god, there wouldn't be so much hate and pain. also, no 1 would suffer."


August 13 - Danyelle says...
"Hi  I just emailed you  to see if you could help me i got bullied every day in my 7th grade year and every day before i went to bed i ask God if i could die my dad always acted like  i was no good and always put me i my room for little things no food no bathroom for around 32 hours and my life was just not going the way i wanted it to i wish i would die every day now am about to go in 8th grade and i am afraid that my school year will be just like last year and i do not want it to be like last years and not i really want to kill myself before i have to go to school but i just don't want to leave my best friend, mom-mom, pop-pop, and my sister.  my sister looks up to me i am the only person that she can talk last year my little cousin got raped by my older cousin.  i was raped by my step dad and my Mom did not believe me until he was arrested last week.  my Mom was put in the  hospital 2 times in one week i want to die so bad but i cant to it to the people that i love but i don't want to live in fear any more.  and I wonder am i going  to go to school and not get beat up today can you please help me

and later - Hi Sonja (Jared's sister) I am really glad you wrote me I felt not so alone. ...Last night out of no where some girl called me and threatening me and said that she was going to kill me because i stole her boy friend and she knows it is not true.  ...she was always there right when i got off the bus giving me dirty looks she never like me she always wanted to beat me up but never had a reason and now she is making up a reason and i am so scared and i no it is not true it can not be true because i am to ugly to get her boy friend and right after she called last night i called my best friend and she said that they were still going out because she saw them in her development. I am so scared..."

August 10 - Allison says...
"What a beautiful page. My brother just lost his closest friend last January and the whole family is still in mourning. Not a day goes by when Zach is not in our  hearts and minds. What a wonderful tribute for your son!"

August 9 - 'spyyro' says...
"i was wondering if you knew about any email web pages i could go to talk to someone about my feelings, and get help for them before i go into a suicidal relapse. could you please email with some pages or suggestions for someone i could email to get help?" (every once in a while compassionatefriends.org has a chat scheduled for people who have questions about suicide.  Be sure and check their schedule. Someday maybe JaredStory.com will sponsor a chat room too.)

August 8 - ? says...
"A girl with the screen name  JJLee211  Is seriously considering suicide. Everything I say doesn't work. I can't win. Can you help her?  Try to talk to her maybe?" (I can always try...)

August 8 - Amy says...
"...I'm 15 years old and I don't care about anything anymore. My parents spilt up about 3 years ago and every since then I have been miserable. I don't talk to my dad anymore, every time I do he says bad things about my mom and I end up feeling bad and crying. My mom has since remarried. Before my mom and step-father got married I got in a really big fight with my mom and I told her I didn't want to live anymore and she just started yelling at me. Since then I haven't talked to her about anything because I feel like she won't understand. Today I finally went and talked to her. I told her that I didn't want to live here anymore and that I wasn't happy and I didn't know why. I told her about my best friend in the whole world on here thinking about moving to Australia and how I would be heartbroken if he went. I told her that I feel like I have no one who is just there for me...
and later...  How do I talk to my mom without her getting mad? The reason I don't talk to my dad is because he never has anything good to say.  My mom and him don't talk anymore they would rather kill each other then look at each other. He doesn't pay child support like he is suppose to...  ...There's times when i get bent out of shape when i shouldn't, ...Sometimes I feel like I'm the one who is putting in all the effort and not getting any help in return.  There are times when i just want to say screw it..." (Never stop trying to talk to your mom.  Try and catch her when her stress level is low and then she may be more willing to listen to your problems.)

August 2 - Susan says...
"My son also committed suicide - on December 18, 1997. This poem was given to me by a childhood friend of Chad's.  I would like to purchase a book of Edgar Guest's poems - with this poem in it.   Do you know which book it is in. Thanks so much for your help.  (no - does anybody know?)
and later... "You are so right - life certainly does deal us some blows. I only have two children - now it seems I have terrible thoughts that something will happen to Katie. Letting her be herself is very difficult."


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Food Therapy for Depression

What Depression is and it's causes

Can Harassment, Bullies, and Assaults in school cause Depression?  PARENTS BEWARE!!!

Kasey's Mom talks about Depression

Solutions for Sugar Sensitivity - Can eating a Potato help depression?

Seizure-Stopping Device may help Depression


Moms Speak Out!

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Bullycide in America

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The diagnosis and treatment of depression and other psychiatric disorders requires trained medical professionals.  The information provided above is to be used for educational purposes only.  It should NOT be used as a substitute for seeking professional care for the diagnosis and treatment of any mental/psychiatric disorders.  The books are recommended as a reference, not as medical advice.